1.
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
2.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
3.
A guy rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
He smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a
A guy rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
He smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a
4.
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed.As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you c
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed.As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you c
5.
The first guy goes in and kicks as., best job interview he's ever done in his lifeEnd of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don't have any EARS, man!”“I'm sorry
The first guy goes in and kicks as., best job interview he's ever done in his lifeEnd of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don't have any EARS, man!”“I'm sorry
6.
Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the back country.As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.I finally
Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the back country.As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.I finally
7.
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks.“I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I`m a call girl”.The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it.He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.After th
8.
The guy examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep.The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep.Aft
The guy examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep.The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep.Aft
9.
The old beady-eyed moderator in charge of the classroom stared towards the clock at the end of the room as the students furiously scribbled down the remainder of their answers, knowing that time was almost up.Minutes later, the clock struck a new hour and
The old beady-eyed moderator in charge of the classroom stared towards the clock at the end of the room as the students furiously scribbled down the remainder of their answers, knowing that time was almost up.Minutes later, the clock struck a new hour and
10.
Jim calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I not come work today,
I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt.
I not come work.” The boss says, “You know Jim, I really need you today.
When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell
Jim calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I not come work today,
I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt.
I not come work.” The boss says, “You know Jim, I really need you today.
When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell
11.
A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time in many decades.When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, “Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and
A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time in many decades.When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, “Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and
12.
Two men were traveling in company along the road when one of them picked up a well-filled purse.“How lucky I am!” he said“I have found a purseJudging by its weight it must be full of gold.”“Do not say ‘I have found a purse,'” said his companion“Say rather
Two men were traveling in company along the road when one of them picked up a well-filled purse.“How lucky I am!” he said“I have found a purseJudging by its weight it must be full of gold.”“Do not say ‘I have found a purse,'” said his companion“Say rather
13.
These three guys die together in a tragic accident and they all go to heavenWhen they get there, StPeter greets them and tells them, “We only have one rule here in heavenDon't step on the ducks.”So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all o
These three guys die together in a tragic accident and they all go to heavenWhen they get there, StPeter greets them and tells them, “We only have one rule here in heavenDon't step on the ducks.”So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all o
14.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
15.
A 6 year-old boy was in the market with his 4 year-old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind.
He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.
The
A 6 year-old boy was in the market with his 4 year-old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind.
He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.
The
16.
An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell
An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell
17.
Daddy, how was I born ?
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We s
Daddy, how was I born ?
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We s
18.
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald
19.
A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able t
A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able t
20.
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
21.
The Birthday SurpriseDuring lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”He then blindfolded me and led me
The Birthday SurpriseDuring lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”He then blindfolded me and led me
22.
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a s
23.
Mr. and Mrs Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely.
One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her elde
Mr. and Mrs Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely.
One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her elde
24.
A lady walks into a pet store.She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBOThe lady asks the pet shop owner, “Why so cheap?”The owner says “This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things.”The lady can't pass u
A lady walks into a pet store.She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBOThe lady asks the pet shop owner, “Why so cheap?”The owner says “This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things.”The lady can't pass u
25.
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.Giovanni said, “Hey, Luigi, How was a da treep?”Luigi said, “Everything was-a perfect except for
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.Giovanni said, “Hey, Luigi, How was a da treep?”Luigi said, “Everything was-a perfect except for
26.
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the p
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the p
27.
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man indeed had a job for the boy to doHe handed the boy a can of red paint and
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man indeed had a job for the boy to doHe handed the boy a can of red paint and
28.
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.After slamming
29.
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
30.
Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped.
The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it.
The he gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his ‘Vette, and they both
Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped.
The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it.
The he gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his ‘Vette, and they both
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